A Future Together
by Yurika's Soul
Summary: A deal with the devil might not be the best way to rescue your friend. But how can you reject the devil's offer, if that's the only way to rescue your dearest friend's life? / Somewhere in a hospital Haruka woke up to a new world, where Rin had forgotten about him.
1. A Deal With No Turning Back

_This story was inspired by a tumblr post,  
sadly I cannot link anything here so if you want to see the post please search for this story in AO3 I linked it there!_

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 _Pacing up and down, up and down_ terrified eyes, wide, unfocused _up and down, up and down_ his world a mere blur _up and down, up and down_ his steps wide and fast _up and down, up and down_ his heart pounding to his ears _up and down, up and down_ the white noises cutting the thin air _up and down, up and down and then stop._

"Matsuoka-san? Are you Matsuoka Rin-san? " red eyes tried to refocus on a petite, feminine face.

"Y-Yes." His hoarse voice cracked.

"We... I mean the doctor in charge wishes to talk to you." Her voice small, so small and fragile, his ears barely heard it.

"Y-Yes." The repeating of this word killed him inside, yes and yes and yes while he listened and listened and listened.

He nodded again and again. The time he had spent waiting here was just filled with this. Yes and yes, nodding and nodding, listening and listening. Nothing changed, nothing really mattered. Just the clock which ticked on and on unrestingly, unforgiving, showing him each second of his far too long wait.

"Follow me please."

"Yes." He clenched his eyes shut then opened them again, he was trying to focus, trying to return to reality.

The little steps of the lady lead away, through corridors. Here a door there a door, rooms and rooms, white walls and green sterile looking sanitizers. Rin walked behind her, his steps far wider, his walk by far stiffer. Each step was a reminder to the cruel reality. He followed her long enough for the world around him to blur again, long enough for his eyes to get unfocused again, long enough to fall back into his thoughts.

Blue, blue, blue the colour of water, the colour of the sky, the colour of the sea. Blue you see everyday, everywhere, in rooms, in the sky, in the sea, in paintings and on buildings, just blue. Blue being the most soothing colour, it calms the minds of people and gives them a light feeling of a brisk wind. Yet Rin knew the other side of it, its darkest secret, that just showed when a storm rolled up, when a storm gave its thunderous growl.

Blue was so sweet yet the most bitter colour on the world. Blue was the sky, blue was the sea, blue was life and blue was death, blue was there everywhere and Rin had long ago fallen for this blue. First through swimming finding the never ending blue sea -a promise for eternities. And then the blue in a person's eyes, the blue which made him love swimming and the sea even more. Blue, just blue, yet it meant the world. The absence of blue would be painful and enraging Rin knew, Rin just knew.

"tsuoka-san... Matsuoka-san" Rin startled out of his thoughts and looked once again in that little face, down to the woman who had shown him the way. "We are here. The doctor will show up in a short while"

Rin nodded before the nurse left and then began to wait. Once again he was waiting, could just wait for the doctor to appear and talk to him. His eyes were on the door peering at it, concentrating on the gaping hole which was the only way out of this room and the only way in. His gaze was clawing at it, his mind trying to adjust to the still far too bright white of the walls, to the sun that shone in through the window and the bright blue sky. Behind the curtains there was certainly a bright day, a wonderful and beautiful day, full of laughs and happiness, yet the only thing Rin could do was wait in a cold white sterile room. No blue and no light, no sea and no life.

"Good morning, Matsuoka-san. I am Midorima Shintarou doctor in charge of this case. Your friend is still in surgery and I have to speak to you about some matters. But first you may want to inform other acquaintances of Nanase-san. You were the one accompanying him so I assumed that you are a friend yet I cannot say more about his condition as long as I did not speak to his parents."

Rin startled out of his thoughts, he had been looking at the door all the time, how hadn't he noticed the man entering. In front of him was a serious looking middle aged man. His previously green hair was shimmering with grey hair strands in between. There was no sympathy or empathy in the man's voice as he spoke up again.

"It is certainly important to tell us the number of your friend's parents. We need someone to speak about Nanase-san's medical condition as soon as possible."

The voice of the man was deep and he spoke far too stiff, this was the only thing Rin could focus on. The information somehow bounced off, didn't reach his brain. He cleared his throat straightened up and tried to think what the man had said, what all of it really meant. He had asked for Haruka's parents, hadn't he? But Haruka was going to be ok, so he also could tell Rin.

"I... Can't you tell me? I-I ne-need to know." His voice was hoarse nearly unfamiliar to him.

"I have to apologize but that is not possible. First I have to speak to Nanase-san's parents about his conditions. You are not related to the patient and I am not authorized to tell you while Nanase-san's parents or any other relatives are absent."

Rin tried to hear, tried to understand, tried to make sense of all of this. He tried to but he couldn't. There was no sense, there were just the things this doctor told, and things he didn't. Rin had solely two options, he either complied or he didn't. But in this situation it would help Haruka more if he complied, wouldn't it?

"His... uh. His parents are abroad. B-But I can give you their number." Rin said weakly, he was feeling numb, so numb.

With wide eyes he recited the number of Haruka's parents from his memory. The numbness slowly, ever so slowly, overtook his whole body, rendering him deaf to the outer world and his body immobile. He couldn't hear, couldn't react, didn't even want to. As soon as the doctor left he felt a shiver run down his spine, he began to tremble, his knees felt weak and his heart pounded against his ribcage.

That numb feeling slowly spread over his limbs until he hadn't any feeling left in them. He clenched his fists but he couldn't feel his fingernails dig into his palm or how he brought his hand up to the level of his eyes. There was also a nausea in his stomach, he could barely withhold himself from throwing up. To ease his condition he first took some steps back, he wanted to sit down onto the bed so that he could get his whole body into control again, but he stumbled and fell to the ground. The world around him was spinning, his head hurting, a pulsing which felt like someone was trying to play his skull like a drum.

 _Why, why, why_ he thought to himself. _Why, why, why,_ why had this have to happen? _Why, why, why,_ _why,_ when they finally figured out everything. _Why, why, why, why._ This word repeated over and over and over again in his mind. His breaths were erratic and he couldn't react to anything around him, hell, he couldn't even really recognise anything, couldn't feel anything beside the numbness of his body. The way his limbs felt heavier than lead, that he trembled like a leaf in autumn weather and his brain was pulsing like some kind of monster tried to rip apart his skull. _Why_ he thought to himself, as tears slipped past his lashes, _why_ then somehow everything darkened until his surroundings were pitch black, until he didn't feel anymore until -

 **~xoxoxoxooxoxoxox~**

 _A sunny summer day, the sun was blazing down and warming the hearts of the people on the streets. Rin was standing at a crossing waiting for Haruka to arrive. They had planned this as soon as Rin had known about the weather forecast. He had planned a day outside. Them going together to swim, maybe even going to beach instead of an outdoors pool. It would be brilliant to pass some time with Haruka before Rin had to return to Australia again. There was nothing that could worsen the day and maybe this thought had been the reason for what happened next._

 _He greeted Haruka from afar, seeing the teen on the other side of the street. Rin's smile was genuine as he waited for the other to approach, so that they could go swim, go be together but then a loud shrieking sound, a crash and then everything turned silent. Rin's environment darkened until it was pitch black, until there was nothing left of the street, of the day, of the sun and the eternal blue sky._

 _"Haru?" He whispered_

 _"Haru?" He called out_

 _"Haru?!" He shouted_

 _"Haru..." His knees buckled and he fell to the ground. Crying in the darkness all alone, silence filling the air around him, suffocating him._

 _The darkness unbearable as it was, turned even darker with each passing second in silence. His back was bent and his hands in his hair. He was crying uncontrollably on the ground. After some time Rin heard a sound, it was the soft song of flowing water. It was the sound it would make when it flowed down rocks and then finally met the ground underneath, to pool until it was a strong and beautiful pond. This soft purring sound didn't stop, its purring sounds were what slowly drew Rin into madness._

 _He cried out loud and shot up, beginning to run and search. He really wanted to find the source of this sound. Rin ran and ran and ran in the darkness until he stumbled and fell down into something wet. His clothes began to soak and the water rose and rose. He yelped and tried to stand up, but his limbs were frozen, he couldn't move, he couldn't even twitch a finger. He breathed erratically as he clawed at the straws of life, begged for the water to stop rising._

 _But it rose and rose, slowly entered his airways and flowed into his lungs. He croaked and coughed, cried and pled. The darkness was terrifying, not being able to do anything against the water that pooled around him was horrific. The merciless water still rose, wanting to kill him. The soft sounds from before were angry thunderous growls in his ears now. Rin whimpered, he didn't want to die like this. Pathetic not able to move, seeing nothing but darkness, he still had to see if Haruka was ok, if anything happened to him._

 _"Haru..." the water filled his mouth so that the name was a mere gurgle that pooled out to the world._

 _Suddenly the ground under him began to break apart, first revealing a sharp painful light through its cracks but then the ground shattered into pieces until Rin was falling through. The light was so bright it hurt his eyes, yet he refused to close them, he wanted to bath in this brightness, the darkness before had been terrifying, had been suffocating. But this brightness was standing for life, wasn't it?_

 _He waited for a hard impact but when he finally met the ground it wasn't hard. Because something lead him softly onto his feet until he was standing in a white room which was filled with light. The rays of sun were shining in and the blue sky was to see behind the grey jalousie. He was back at the hospital. Yes, the hospital, they were helping Haruka here. He would live, he woul-_

 _"Don't be so sure, my dear friend!" Rin startled out of his thoughts and spun around abruptly, nearly knocking down a vase that was standing on a little table at the bed._

 _He looked to the intruder's direction. There was a young man sitting on the bed and staring up to him. He had red eyes which seemed to bore into Rin's very core. The man's white hair was uncombed and tousled all over his head. It looked like the man just woke up. He was wearing some kind of black overall with a red t-shirt underneath. Like a skilled acrobat he jumped down from the bed and landed swiftly on the ground. Then he approached Rin and just came to a halt directly in front of him. Leaning into the teen's personal space until they were nearly touching noses._

 _"Don't be so sure." He repeated his phrase but this time his voice was far deeper, sounding older than the man looked. After this the man stepped away from Rin and reached his hand over. "Don't you want to say hello to the miracle who will rescue your dearest love?" The man grinned as he offered his hand._

 _Rin looked at the offered hand and then to the man, rescue his dearest love? What on earth was this man babbling._

 _"Oh, I see, in denial! What a shame, what a shame!" The man said a tad too enthusiastically as he clapped his hands. "The ones in denial are the best ones." He grinned wider. "Let me try again. I-" there was a dramatic pause before he spoke on "- am here to offer you a deal!"_

 _Rin looked perplexed to the man. A deal he said, a deal, what could a deal change at this point? Haruka was safe, Haruka was in a hospital to what kind of deal was this man referring._

 _"Oh man... Really... Why can't anyone get it when I'm saying it, I offer a deal. Every fucking time I have to explain it again. Do you know how unnerving that can get? To repeat your intent for the 100th time. Hello my friend. I am, let's say, a well meaning man in your dreams, who offers you the most_ awesome _deal to rescue your lover! Every fucking time! Anyway I will repeat it for you. Just for you! So perk your ears and pay attention, you may like the deal!"_

 _Rin was staring at the man dumbfounded, squinting his eyes. He couldn't believe how someone could be this lively in a hospital room._

 _"Now, now my young friend. I am a well meaning man in your dreams. I am here to rescue you and your dearest love from your misery. What were the names? Let's see." The man crammed a book out of his bag, Rin hadn't even seen him having that ridiculous red bag. " Rin Matsuoka aaaaaand Haruka Nanase. You are Rin, correct?" Rin nodded and stared towards the man. "Ok, then let's go on. I am here to help you and Haruka. You see the boy is in a deep, deep sleep right now and might die in every second."_

 _Rin's eyes widened and then he shot forward, grabbing the man's shoulders "T-Tell me! How do you know? Why is he going to die? What is happening?!"_

 _"Now, now, please let go of me and I will continue." Rin reluctantly let go and stared at the man. His eyes were wide and solely focused on the other. "Far better. Like I said Haruka might die in every passing second. The car must have been accelerating too much because the poor boy has several broken bones and a very, very bad concussion. They are still trying to stop the bleeding and to rescue that little bit what is left of the boy's brain. Reeeeaaally tragic, you see."_

 _Rin's eyes widened before he leaped to the door. He needed to talk to the doctor's, needed to know more and get to know more. He just needed to see Haruka. But then suddenly he stopped, he couldn't move a single limb._

 _"Oh boy, why do they every time try to run to their beloved ones. Because of the kinds like you,_ I _have to use_ more power _than_ necessary _. Listen boy. You are unconscious right now. Even if you went out there, there won't be anything except for the deep darkness, you left behind. So please just listen to me and stay were you are as soon as I let you go."_

 _As Rin began to feel his limbs again, he moved them around testingly and as soon as he realised that he was in control of them he ran to the door, opened it. He didn't know what he was awaiting but saw really just what the man had told him, darkness. The pitch black that had barely minutes ago suffocated him._

 _"My, my, and each time I get this reaction. Never do humans listen to what I say. Is it so much better to see yourself and crush your dreams? Anyway come in and close the door, it's getting cold."_

 _Rin's shoulder slumped down in defeat before he closed the door and turned around -once again facing the man._

 _"Now that we have cleared that matter, may I proceed?" The man didn't even wait for an answer before he spoke on. "Anyway. I am here to offer you a deal. I will rescue Haruka for just a little payment, you see. It really is not much, if you consider the life of your beloved one."_

 _"What do you want?" Rin asked, it slipped out of his mouth, though he didn't really intend to._

 _"I am so very pleased that you ask." The man smiled before he sat down onto the bed. "You see it's like this. I just want the experiences you made with Haruka, in exchange for his life! Awesome isn't it?" The man said and stood up. "Just memories for another life and a new chance for your beloved one!"_

 _Rin watched the man as he approached him it was a small payment wasn't it? Just memories for Haruka's life "You mean you will just erase all my memory?" Rin asked and looked at the man._

 _"No, no, no! You will remember everything else. You can keep your identity and every other memory you have with other friends like... uhm... let's see." The man once again looked through his book. "Ah, here we have it! Friends like Sousuke and Makoto, even Rei you won't forget anything you experienced with them. I am no monster! It will just be your memories with Haruka and the boy itself. You see. Like your grand promise under the cherry tree, everybody will be there but Haruka -in your mind at least. Your matches against him will be erased too, even your feelings towards him will disappear. Just those. The remaining you can keep I have no use for them. But those memories and feelings are powerful and quite delicate in taste you see."_

 _Rin's gaze turned towards the ground. His thoughts racing in his mind. He would forget Haruka, just him. Those memories in exchange for Haruka staying alive. It was an easy deal, it was so much better than letting Haruka die. Also he could meet him again, he could get to know him again, maybe even..._

 _But there was a nagging sound in the back of his mind that told him to think about Haruka, to think about him. How he would react, how much it would hurt him. To remember how much it had hurt him when Rin had pushed him away after returning from Australia. Yet again the other had found his way back to his heart, broke down the wall that kept all of his feelings hidden. Rin stared on the ground, thought and thought._

 _"Boy I have not time for eternities each passing second Haruka's life might end and if he dies even I can't help you anymore. You either decide in the next seconds or it's too late. The boy really is just barely alive by now. The only remaining string to his life is sooooooo small." He showed a size between his index finger and thumb "Maybe even less. So decide now, yes or no?"_

 _Rin's eyes widened after the man's words. The last seconds he either decided now or would stay silent forever. He gulped down the lump in his throat and nodded frantically."Please yes. Bu-But make him stay alive, p-please don't let him die." Rin pleaded._

 _The man shortly screwed up his face in distaste. "Yes, yes. I won't let him die. Now give me your memories."_

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 _I always appreciate critique._


	2. A World Without You

_I hope you will enjoy this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it!_

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A high pitched beeping sound. _Beeep beeep beeep._ It was penetrating his brain. _Beeep beeep beeep._ Each intake of breath seemed to crush his lungs. _Beeep beeep beeep._ His eyelids felt heavy as they lay on his eyeballs. _Beeep beeep beeep._ Every limb in his body hurt his very core. _Beeep beeep beeep._

Haruka slowly pried open his eyelids. The light from outside blinded him for seconds yet he still opened his eyes, pinching them nearly closed until he could see the silhouettes around him. The beeping sound still penetrated his brain and each intake of breath was harder than the other. But he managed.

He tried to turn his head to the side but noticed soon enough that he was wearing a mask. A green mask which trapped his mouth. Haruka's eyes widened, panic visible in those sea-blue eyes as he nearly ripped off his mask. At least he thought he would. But where his hand should be, there was nothingness.

The penetrating sound increased its speed, sending needles down his pulsing brain. His breaths quickened and were erratic as his ribs heaved up and down, showing him that there were tons of things wrong with his body. But he didn't know what was going on, he couldn't remember anything. There were shouts and cries around him, but the only thing Haruka could concentrate on was the way his body wouldn't obey him anymore. How more and more was visible to him, like the cables and tubes all over his body. Haruka tried to move, tried to get away from what held him there. He wanted to feel the mild breath of the sea on his skin, wanted to feel the waves licking at his shins. He wanted to get away from those white unforgiving walls. He just-

Haruka's eyes snapped open his breaths were erratic. But Rin. Where was Rin. Haruka was sure that he had seen him. Rin just had been there on the street, whilst the sun and the wind were playing their game, just before they would meet up. The day had been beautiful -so beautiful- had been so mild and perfect for a swim. That was, where Rin was taking him. But the remaining was cut off, just darkness where memories should have been. Now Haruka was just lying there, nothing was as it should be. There was no water, there was no mild breeze, there was nothing but those white walls, which just seemed to near him, seemed like they wanted to squeeze the air out of his lungs and let him die in agony.

He didn't even hear the sob that ripped through his body, he was trembling and breathing was more a burden than anything else. As Haruka swallowed he felt sweat slide down his forehead and throat. There was no way that he could move, why couldn't he just stand up and get away from there.

"Haru! Haru... Haruka!" A blur was standing over him, green eyes and all soft, yet Haruka couldn't recognise the person behind it.

"Haruka, you have to calm down!" That person was calling his name. He was, but being calm, how could Haruka calm down in this room, where nothing looked like the freedom Haruka seeked with all his might. His eyes shot from one wall to the other, trying to get some sense into the situation yet he wasn't able find any. In his years of life he hadn't ever felt this frightened, this caged.

"Haruka-san, you have to breathe. Shall we do it together?" There was a female voice, a petite female voice. Haruka blinked, tried to reduce the spinning. He should breathe, she was telling him to breathe, but how when he barely could heave his ribs.

"Please breathe. Evenly. Now, we can do it together." He heard the breaths and tried to match his to hers. Tried his best. He closed his eyes and breathed in with the counting and her breaths. In and out. Slowly.

"Good. You are doing so fine. Now go on, breathe slowly and evenly just like you did right now." Haruka tried to match his breathing to the numbers, they were giving him something to concentrate on, at least those made sense in that jumbling mess around him.

"Everything's fine. Now tell me. Is there something you need?" Haruka didn't open his eyes, he still focused on breathing. It felt like he would stop breathing as soon as he opened his eyes.

"Ok. You're doing so good." Slowly, really slowly, his breaths evened and the feeling that his ribs were crushed onto his lungs decreased. He opened his eyes, slowly looking up into a clearer world. It was still messy and somehow blurry but he tried his best to breathe. Just breathe. In and out. Slowly. Evenly.

"You are doing so fine." That female voice once again told him. "Do you need anything?" Haruka looked towards the person, familiar red eyes greeted him, a smiling face which had soft but sharp eyes.

"Water." He croaked and heard a silent snigger.

"Of course." She said smiling. "Makoto-san, could you ask the nurses for some water?" Then she turned once again to Haruka.

"Breathe. Don't stop." She said smiling and began to count again. Haruka closed his eyes and let the voice lull him. His mind still a mess but at least he could breathe again.

"I-I-I... the water. Here's the water Kou." Haruka opened his eyes once again and looked towards the two people.

"Thank you Makoto-san. Could you wait outside a little longer, please?" The other nodded shortly and left the room. Haruka's eyes lay on Gou as she approached him, his heart was still pounding.

"Here's some water. But first we should help you to straighten up a little." Gou went around the bed. "Haruka-san, can you help me a little? I need you to slowly lift your head." His breath quickened again, what if he couldn't move again, what if-

"Haruka. Breathe, I will help you. Everything's fine, so slowly, ok?" Haruka hesitated but began to lift his head. He tried, tried really hard. He held his breath for it to function. And there was a move, a slight bit. He tried it a little harder, he could do it, he-

but suddenly there was something behind his head and his eyes snapped open in panic, what was that?

"Shhh, shhh, it's me. I am holding your head." Haruka's eyes softened again as he let his head be guided up. "Haruka-san. I will give you the water. Just open your mouth and take small gulps." There was nothing to fear, soon he would get some of the water he so achingly wanted. He parted his lips and welcomed the cup of water, maybe a tad too eager. He tried to comply, take small gulps. His throat felt tight as the water slid down and settled in his far too empty stomach.

"Ok. Now I will lay your head down." Gou said softly and Haruka felt the way his head slowly was sunk into the pillow. He let out a sigh and looked up into her face, waiting for some explanations. Someone to tell him what exactly was going on.

"A nurse should check you before we speak about what happened."

 **~xoxoxoxooxoxoxox~**

It was afternoon when the nurses and doctors were finally finished with their check. Haruka had been silent all the time, hadn't moved unless he was told and hadn't spoken unless asked. The time ticked as all of them left the room and his friends filled it. He saw each of them now that the blur wasn't hindering him to see and the pain wasn't there anymore. Whatever the nurses had given him against it was pretty good. He was not allowed to move around too much, just sitting up and that just if he had someone helping him.

"Haruka-senpai!" Haruka winced shortly. Rei surely had a loud organ when he wanted. The other's followed him, also calling out Haruka's name and looking more than relieved. The only missing person was Rin. Where was Rin? Worry once again washed through his system, the colour in his face drained, what if-

"Rin?" He croaked, his voice was far too stiff, far too hoarse to say anything else. His throat felt like it tightened with each passing second.

"Haru, he is alright." Makoto said but in his eyes lay worry and somehow hurt. For the first time Haruka didn't know what to think about Makoto's expression, why the teen would look hurt, worse even, like he pitied Haruka.

"Haruka-san." He turned his head towards Gou, whose hair and eyes resembled the ones of Rin, who looked so painful alike to her brother. "We have to explain many things to you."

Haruka nodded slightly, shortly showing his agreement.

"You had a car accident. The driver is still not awake, the doctors even told us that it's a miracle that you are alive let alone awake already. I- We are so relieved that you got away with all this, that you are still alive. I-"

"Where's Rin?" Haruka cut her midsentence. The doctors and nurses had told as much about the accident. That it would take months until he could walk around freely again. That it would even take longer for him to be able to swim. That he had to cope with his current condition first.

"You see, you can still become a national swimmer. Even though your ar-"

"I don't care. Where's Rin?" Haruka responded. His voice was maybe sharper than he had ever used. Each of them looked at him surprised, hurt but the worst was the pity that lay in each of those eyes.

"Haru... you see. He left after he woke up." Makoto said hesitating.

"He is alright?" Haruka asked looking up in those emerald eyes.

Makoto nodded but looked to the side. Haruka couldn't quite decipher why they looked like this. Why they wore the look that told nothing in particular but made clear that there was something wrong -something major. Haruka searched in Makoto's eyes for the answer, wanted to communicate with him the way he always did. But the teen looked away, his eyes turned towards the ground and his shoulders sagged down.

"Haruka-san. I will explain everything in detail." Gou said. She had spoken the most since Haruka had woken up, had explained everything until now and looked composed in contrast to the other three in the room. "You have to listen carefully." She said. And began to explain.

Haruka's eyes widened with every new detail that was bared to him. Rin had been unconscious for a long time, even after Haruka was conscious again. Rei had been with Rin all the time, until the lilac haired teen woke up. But then after waking up Rin had left, yet it was not without leaving a great impact.

Gou's voice was faint as she told Haruka that Rin had forgotten about him. First those blue-eyes searched for any sign for it to be wrong, but there was none, so Gou spoke on. It was a shock for each of them that Rin left laughing as always, without even the littlest trace of the horror the nurses had told all of them.

Rin had left. Rin had forgotten Haruka. Those were the words that stuck in Haruka's head. The only phrases he could concentrate on as he looked between all of them. Rin had forgotten him, had left without saying good-bye, or wishing him to get well soon again. Without crying. Rin had just left.

"Haruka-san. The Doctorsaid that it could be a defensive mechanism of his brain because of the trauma he lived through. Rin saw the accident, he got you to the hospital. The nurses told that he had been dissolved all the time as he paced through the corridors. Until he told them the number of your parents and collapsed. After waking up he had forgotten about everything. Rei told me at least." Gou stopped speaking. "I'm sorry." She added as if she could do anything about it.

Haruka looked at her then on his lap. To hear it again and again didn't make it any less believable. Rin had forgotten about him, had left without the slightest trace of worry. Haruka gulped and felt his throat tighten. He didn't want Rin to forget him. Their friendship had always been so special to Haruka. He could never forget about Rin...  
He could never in his life -even if he wanted to- forget about Rin. About the bright boy, who had forced his way into Haruka's life. Rin just couldn't leave like that, wasn't allowed to forget everything. Not after they were friends again, not after he finally knew Rin's true feelings about swimming and the races between them.

 _Not after Rin finally swam with Haruka again._

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 _Critique is always appreciated._

 _You can ask me questions on tumblr: yurikas-soul_


	3. A Night Filled with Stars

Chapter Summary: Some nights hide the sadest truths.

A.N.: I hope you'll like this chapter!

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Rin was staring at his computer. He was sure that he had booked a flight for the coming Monday but somehow where the details for booking his flight should be was just the information that he had cancelled it. Yet he couldn't remember anything like this to ever happen. Absentmindedly Rin bit on the back of his pencil. He had been about to write down what he needed for his return to Australia. It was a habit of his since he began those travels to Australia. The reassurance and fun the shopping with his mother brought him would always set his mind in peace and give him a new boost to start another year in Australia to become an Olympic swimmer. The things he'd buy were almost always trivial, nothing special. Things he might miss in Australia.

He yawned and pulled the pencil away from his lips and looked at the bite pattern on it. He really had to find out why exactly he had cancelled his flight. There had to be a reason. He screwed his eyes shut when a loud cry pierced his mind. He knew that the cry was in his head yet it felt so painfully real, which lead to him just opening his eyes to look through his room. With a sigh he released the breath he didn't even realise holding, then he stood up and strode to the window.

It was quite a late hour and if he wasn't mistaken then Gou still wasn't home. Their town was small and she was grown up by now yet there was a gnawing in the back of his mind which told him to go look for his sister. He assured himself again and again that she was with Makoto and the other two and that those three would protect her. With a huff he moved away from the window, maybe he should really check for her, this restlessness was killing him also maybe she knew why he cancelled his flight. He took his mobile from the table and checked it for new incoming messages. There was hope in his eyes when he saw one from Gou, his fingers typed quickly over the screen as he opened the message.

/From: Gou  
/To: Rin Matsuoka

/It might get late before I return. Tell mom.

If Rin was honest then this message piqued the worry in him more. There had been something with her friend, he was hospitalized if Rin wasn't mistaken. But what was the name of the guy she was visiting in the hospital and even waited this long at his bed's side? He stuffed his phone into his pocket and took the keys, making his way towards their home's exit. What when he was her lover? Rin glared at the doorknob as he laid his hand on it. He would possibly find out in a little time.

"Rin? Are you leaving to see Haruka?" The voice of his mother was strained as she spoke, he looked back into her face and saw that there were trails of tears in her face.  
"I bet he wants to see you too..." she added and looked into Rin's face new tears forming at the rim of her eyes "I'm so sorry darling, your friend lies in hospital and I am the one crying." She wiped over her face and over her eyes.  
"Be careful while crossing the street." She said and turned around without uttering any other word.

Whilst this short exchange -or rather monologue- with his mother Rin had looked dumbfounded. He had no idea what she was talking about yet didn't comment as she said those words. It felt like there was something real to them, something very real. He cleared his throat before he spoke up.

"I will be careful. I'll get Gou and then we'll be back mom." He said and smiled reassuringly though he knew that her back was turned towards him.  
"I'm leaving now." That was the final phrase he muttered before he pushed open the door.

His friend? In hospital? There were tons of things wrong in those information. There wasn't anyone in the hospital. Not Sousuke, not Makoto, not Rei, not Nagisa or anyone else he knew from around here. He brushed through his hair as he walked the way to the hospital. The wind was chilling as it breathed against his face, filling his lungs with fresh air with each new breathe and the familiar smell of the sea. He smiled shortly as he inhaled deeply. It was a wonderful night. His mind full of unanswered questions Rin walked to the hospital. Hoping that there might be some answers.

 **~xoxoxoxooxoxoxox~**

Haruka's eyes were directed to the window. It had taken them some time to convince the nurse to keep the curtains and window open. She had watched them suspiciously before leaving the room. The clear view of the stars was wonderful. This might have been the night they could sit at the beach Haruka thought to himself. This could have been the most wonderful day before Rin left for Australia but it had turned into a nightmare in mere seconds, minutes and hours.

Haruka looked back to his friends sitting on chairs, they had chatted with him and later on just watched and waited at his side. Just Makoto and Gou were left at the hospital, Rei had dragged Nagisa out when noticing that Haruka wanted some silence for a while. Nagisa must have felt it too, as the teen hadn't protested before leaving. This day had been exhausting for Haruka, first the realization and then also the call from his parents. They had asked him about his condition. His mother sounding more than worried, whilst his father was as cold as ever. He had told them to not come back to Japan, that he was alright. It had been hurtful to hear how easily his father had accepted it.

His gaze fell back to the sky. He always thought that the sky was a far reaching place full of possibilities and freedom, it was similar to the sea the only difference being that Haruka could touch the sea and feel it around his skin. He closed his eyes. Lying around wasn't meant for him but if he wanted to swim ever again he had to go through this exhausting wait. With a light exhale he opened his eyes again and looked into the stars which shone down like they wanted to give him the world. As if they could promise a better future.

Haruka swallowed shortly. It was not easy to be denied what you want so achingly. For Haruka it was the freedom of swimming, for others maybe money or family but for him it was swimming. There he could calm his thoughts and forget the world, be only the person he wanted to be. The sea was something that gave him hope when it was needed. Haruka closed his eyes once more. Swimming was always wonderful, had always been wonderful for him but sometimes he enjoyed it even more with someone who pushed him forward, dragged him through the water with a bright shining halo around him, laughing with him and showing him things he could've never dreamed of.

Rin was for him -just as swimming- essential in his life. The shining bright boy who always clung to him, showed him things he could have never discovered alone. It had been lonely when Rin had left for Australia, Makoto had always been by his side yet the gap which was Rin he could never fill. Makoto was special, yes, but it was different, just as he felt different towards Nagisa or Rei. Their friendships all of them mattered more than anything else yet each of them were different. Couldn't replace the other -ever. It hurt to think about losing just one of them. Then there was Rin his friend, his rival, the person who gave him more than he could have ever claimed on his own. The thought of this person having forgotten him hurt his heart -a never ending ache.

"Gou?" Haruka's eyes snapped open, was he hearing right? He turned his head around though it protested all the way.

"I am hear to pick you up." And yes there he was standing straight in his full height, Rin. Lilac hair encircling his face. His sharp red eyes directed towards Gou, not Haruka. Blue eyes were watching him, each reaction and face burning into a sharp mind.

"Oh sorry. How rude of me." Rin started next, after his eyes fell onto the bed, after his eyes met Haruka's "I am Gou's older brother, Rin Matsuoka. It's a pleasure to meet a dear friend of Gou." Then Rin smiled a smile Haruka learned to accept and then to like, never could he forget that smile.

"You don't speak much, huh?" Rin said next taking off his cap and looking into the space behind Haruka. He was kneading his cap as if something was bothering him.

"Anyway I won't bother for a long time. Gou come along." He said while turning towards Gou. He approached the girl and wanted to lay a hand on her shoulder when he muttered. "Seriously did you fall asleep?"

Haruka couldn't really see as Makoto and Gou were a quite a share away from his bed.

"She really did..." Rin said next staying awkwardly over her and looking down at her face. "That explains why she didn't jump up to babble non-sense." He had a fond smile on his face before he turned once again towards Haruka. "Should I wake her up?"

It seemed like he was asking Haruka. He was looking at him, no smile but a confused pained look on his face, just as he was about to turn to Gou again Haruka shook slightly his head. He was not sure if the other saw, if the other caught it, but it was important. Haruka wanted him to stay a little longer, even though it hurt to see him act like they were strangers, yet it was no act for Rin. He didn't recognize Haruka anymore it was in his posture, in the way he spoke and moved around.

"Oh?" Rin looked at Haruka surprised but then a smile spread over his face "I see. Do you want some company?" Rin asked grinning at him. He had never been good at acting. Haruka could see clearly that Rin was bothered by something. It was in his face, in every expression. Haruka nodded shortly and looked at a chair near his bed.

"Aren't visiting hours over already?" The teen asked as he took the chair and placed it near Haruka's headboard. Haruka had a clear view at Rin as the teen sat down.

They looked into each other's faces for some seconds. Haruka was hoping that Rin would remember, that he just would get even the slightest bit of a reminder of who Haruka was.

"The nurse said they could stay if they are quite." Haruka said.

His voice was still strained and his throat felt like sandpaper even after he drank so much water. Rin nodded thoughtfully then his gaze once again locked with the one of Haruka. He looked like he was searching for something in Haruka's eyes, for something he wasn't quite sure of if it existed.

"So you're Gou's boyfriend?" Haruka blinked surprized and rose an eyebrow before he shook his head, just slightly never losing sight for Rin.  
"Oh, so just friends. Just friends, that's good. If not I would have to lecture you about treating her right." Rin smiled his, eyes still searching with a pained expression.

 **~xoxoxoxooxoxoxox~**

There was something in those blue eyes that seemed familiar. Something that drew him closer and didn't want to let go. His heart was pounding, even aching as he looked into those eyes. They looked like they were aching too, as if they wanted to reach out and hold onto something important in Rin's mind. Rin held the smile on his face, it was not his place to voice out his doubt about knowing this teen. There were tons of questions in his mind, questions which were not meant to be asked in a hospital room and also some which could be asked there. His eyes fell to the arm, or rather where an arm should have been. Had the accident been so fatal to put the teen in this shape?

When he caught himself staring Rin blushed and averted his gaze to the ground, then he slowly looked up, not into the face of the other but out of the window. The stars were sparkling down in a blanket of dark blue. The dark night resembled the hair of the other and the sad sparkle in his eyes those stars. Rin felt his heart clench, that sad gleam seemed so out of place in that face, as if those eyes never looked like that towards him. Rin gulped and faced the teen once again. The gaze awaiting him was an intense blue, a shade of blue Rin loved the most -the joining point of sea and sky at the horizon. He felt like he was losing himself in those blue eyes, he parted his lips, there were things he had to say to this teen, he had to-

"Onii-chan?" Gou said groggily Rin's attention returned to her, sea-blue eyes shoved in the back of his mind.

"Gou you're awake." Rin responded and stood up to go to her side "I was about to wake you up so that we could go." He continued. "By the way I had the pleasure to meet your friend. He isn't much of a talker, didn't even tell me his name, but to be fair I didn't ask him." Rin grinned as he gave his sister a hand so that she could stand up.

"Do you mean Haruka-san?" Her voice was hollow and the look she gave Rin was filled with sadness, Rin looked puzzled down, why would she be sad right after waking up? Was the accident taking such a great toll on her?

"Ah, right, that was his name. I knew you mentioned him before." Rin replied quickly, not leaving room for any uncomfortable seconds, or thoughts. "Anyway we should get going. Mother is probably waiting." He said before he began to walk towards the door.

"Get well soon Haru. And have a good night." With this he exited the room, he could wait for Gou outside.

Though then he noticed something. He had just called a person he recently knew with the first name, not only that, he had solely used the first syllable making it seem like a pet-name for the other. What had he been thinking? But it had happened without even intending it, that name had rolled over his tongue so naturally Rin didn't even really notice himself using it. His face turned red. He had to apologize for that little incident, if he met the other ever again.

* * *

A.N.: reviews are always appreciated.


	4. A Cruel Reality Mould with a Harsh Truth

**Chapter Summary:**

How come that reality is most of the time more cruel than any of our dreams?  
Truths most of the time hurt as vigourusly as reality...

 **Author's Notes:**

Hey guys!  
Here another chapter of "A Future Together"  
Enjoy reading~

* * *

An exhausted sigh left Haruka's lips. Each time he closed his eyes the scene from before played in front of his eyes. Rin had called him Haru, just as always. Maybe he really hadn't forgotten everything. His eyes fell out of his window towards the night sky, the bright stars were still lighting up the darkness surrounding them. They were fighting against the gloom around them, looking all the more beautiful the darker their environment was.

That was also in the case of hope. The more desperate the situation looked the brighter shines the hope inside of the hearts of people. It's an emotion everyone holds onto even though they know the truth is not as nice. That was also the case with Haruka. There was hope inside his pounding heart, hope that Rin might remember when he stayed at Haruka's side longer. This hope was shining bright in the dark feelings, which clouded Haruka's mind when thinking about Rin that he couldn't do any different but picturing how he could take Rin back to his former self. He couldn't do any different but hope that that nice smile which was normally directed to him would return into that face.

He exhaled shakily as his eyes fell onto his lap. Just one hand was curled on the white blanket that covered his lower half and that would stay that way, always, for his remaining life. He would never be able to gain his other arm back, there was no posibility of him doing so. A severed limb stayed what it was, it wouldn't return after just a wish. Yet Haruka couldn't care less about his lost arm, they after all had told him, that he would be able to swim again, also Gou had told him about the Paralympics.

Haruka felt an ache in his heart as he thought about competitive swimming. Wouldn't he ever be able to swim against Rin anymore? He after all could go to the Olympics, he wasn't being held back by a handicap like Haruka was. He clenched his fist as the thoughts in his mind clouded more and more.

What would happen if he lost Rin for good? It had been competitive swimming that brought them together, what would happen if Haruka wasn't able to participate at it against Rin anymore. Would he be left behind? Would Rin just live his life without the knowledge of Haruka?

He felt tears brimming in his eyes so he blinked them away, breathing evenly as to release the tension in his heart and mind. He leaned his head against the headboard, his eyes looking up to the ceiling. Darkness had wrapped its claws around the white ceiling, leaving behind a dark reality. Haruka closed his eyes, clenched his teeth as to forget and rid the numb feeling in his mind.

He drew in air between clenched teeth and opened then his eyes again. There was a piercing pain in his arm. He clenched his teeth and looked at his right arm -the stump that was left- which ached in a devilish vigour, punching him back to reality again and again, not leaving any room to forget more about the reality than he was allowed. His breaths resembled gasps as he tried to even the pulsing of his arm. The pain would be over in a short time, as it returned in cycles. Maybe he should call a nurse? Yet again Haruka didn't want to deal with anyone but the thoughts that grew darker in nature the more he thought and realized.

 **~xoxoxoxoxooxoxoxox~**

The next day broke and Rin was already clothed, ready for his run in the morning. He stuffed his keys into his jersey's pocket and moved as silently as possible to the house's exit. There was no need for his mother to wake up. When he had found her she had been asleep on their couch, her eyes still swollen from crying and Gou had looked more than exhausted when he had escorted her to her room. He slipped into his running shoes and left the house -closing the door silently behind himself.

After stuffing his headphones on he began to run his usual route. Through the streets until he reached the sea. There he would run until his thoughts were balanced, until he felt that his muscles had worked as much as possible. He loved the ache in them after training. For today though he just wanted to rid the doubt in his heart about his meeting with that Haruka. Those eyes had looked so familiar yet he couldn't recognize anything in them. Rin's gaze wandered to the sea, further to the back until he saw the horizon, the stripe where the sea seemed to melt with the sky. That had been the colour of Haruka's eyes. They had looked so far away yet again when Rin had reached out he would've been able to touch the person whom belonged those eyes.

He directed his gaze back to the front and ran. His thoughts slowly beginning to wander back to the incident in the hospital room. He had called Gou's friend Haru, just like that, as if they knew each other for years, as if they were friends. His steps slowed down before he sat down on his usual stop for his first break in his run. He drank water still in thoughts and hoped that the other hadn't taken it the wrong way. Rin hadn't been raised to behave like a monkey. His breath slowly evened out and he stood up again to continue. The rest of his run was a jumbling mess about Haruka and that little incident.

 **~xoxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxox~**

"Rin!" Gou called out to him as he was rounding the streets corner. "Where have you been?! Mother was sick with worry."

Rin looked down to his little sister, confused. "Mother was worried?"

"Yes she was!" Was the angered response "Where have you been?"

"I was on a run." The tone Gou was using, he didn't like it. "I always run around this time that never changed, Gou." He said instead.

"Oh, yes... Okay." Her voice was toning down towards the end, a sadness overtaking her voice. "Right.. it's just after what happened... it's... I mean..."

Rin could hear the pain in her voice, could see it in her posture how she hugged herself and squeezed her upper arms in a way that showed how hard she tried to keep her composure. She was biting her lip and he knew that she wouldn't cry, she had never really cried. It was him who couldn't hold back his emotions, who couldn't hide the pain, couldn't halt the tears from streaming. He took a step forward and pulled his sister into a hug. She was feeling pain, her friend was hospitalized after a car accident. It had been thoughtless of him to leave without saying anything.

"I'm sorry." He said and then a sob was to hear. His eyes widened when he felt his sister's arms around his body and how her face buried into his chest. She was crying...

"I'm sorry Gou." He said and his embrace firmed. "I will tell the next time before leaving, promise. So plea-" He stopped mid-sentence.

He couldn't ask her to stop crying, he of all people knew how hard it was to burry the hurt and pain deep into himself, until breaking and never being able to stop tears or the anger that built up instead of the sickening sadness. So he just did what would have helped him, a hug, a person showing him that they were there for him.

"SShhh.." He whispered as he rubbed her back. "I'm fine, see?" He added before he placed his hands on her shoulders and pushed her away, enough to see her face but not far enough to break their embrace. She nodded.

"Look let's get inside." He continued. "So that you can wash your face and I can change and take a shower. Then we can talk." With a smile he looked into her eyes. "Okay?"

Gou nodded before letting go and wiping over her face. "Okay. But we really have to talk." She then said and stepped away.

"Okay." Rin responded and they walked back into the house.

 **~xoxoxoxoxooxoxoxox~**

"Haru!" Haruka looked towards the entrance. "You are awake, the nurses told me you might be asleep..."

Haruka just nodded in response. Makoto promised to visit him as often as possible after leaving the night before. Haruka looked into the other's eyes searching for any clues about news, if there could be anything new, anything worth telling. But the only thing he found was hurt, sympathy and a air of awkwardness around the other.

"I... uh... I brought some Makarel for you. I thought that you might want something else besides the food in the hospital. My mother cooked it the way you like." Makoto smiled as he said all those things and neared Haruka's bed.

"He called me Haru." Haruka saw the way Makoto halted mid-walk and looked at him puzzled. "Rin." Haruka then added.

"Oh..." Makoto said. "So, does he remember?" Makoto asked shifting on his feet, still standing awkwardly where he stopped when Haruka spoke up.

"No." Was Haruka's response. No Rin hadn't remembered anything, if he had he would have run back, would have apologized, wouldn't have left with such a bright smile.

Makoto's silence was saying more than thousand words about what he was thinking, the hurt in his eyes were telling greater stories about the emotions in him than his mouth would ever be able to tell. Haruka's eyes returned to his lap. He couldn't take it any longer to see that sympathy in those otherwise just happy and soft emerald eyes. There was a need in him, a need to leave this caging four walls, to swim and escape reality. Deep in thoughts he formed his hand to a fist and loosened it again. He could still feel his other arm, it still felt like it never disappeared, like it also clenched to a fist when he did it with his left hand. Just after looking up did he notice that Makoto had sat down on the chair beside his bed. Those emerald eyes were directed to the box in which probably was the meal he brought for Haruka.

"Thank you." Haruka muttered and saw Makoto look up. In the eyes of the teen lay some kind of happiness but Haruka didn't read anything further into it. His gaze just returned out of the window, wondering what Rin was doing under the same sky.

 **~xoxoxoxooxoxoxox~**

Rin came out of the shower, finally feeling like a human being after all that sweat was washed off his body. He was towelling his hair as he walked down the hall towards his room, only a large towel covering his lower half. A yawn escaped his lips before he pushed the door to his room open. After choosing some clothing items for himself he began to dress. He had thought about what his sister and he might talk -about what she wanted to talk with him- but nothing in particular came to his mind which could be related to the accident.

He towelled his hair and combed it right after, as always he would let it dry on its own. His hair felt softer that way. After everything was finished he shortly sat on his bed and looked out of the window. The sky was a light blue, some clouds wandering happily about, birds flying in a joyful swirl through the air. A smile tugged at the corner of his lips. It was a beautiful day yet there was much to worry. Especially what his sister wanted to talk about. A sigh escaped his lips before he stood up and walked to Gou's room.

"Gou." He knocked at the door. "We wanted to talk."

Maybe she would feel better after telling him what exactly was going on. He had to be there for her as a brother, even as a friend, as long as she let him.

"Come in!" He opened the door with ease, looked at his sister sitting on her bed and gesturing him to sit next to her.

With an ease he hadn't felt for a long time he let himself fall onto the bed and looked at her questioningly.

"Okay, now tell me what happened, Gou." Rin said noticing that his wording sounded more like a demand. "I mean... just if you want to... I mean... I will listen if you are-"

A soft laugh filled the room, her laugh to be exact. Rin looked puzzled to her but then smiled. At least she could still laugh. Even though it didn't sound as happy and at ease as ever.

"Oh, brother" she said after clearing her throat and looking towards him. "I am fine. I was just worried sick because mother was. She began to cry after noticing that you left."

"She was what?" Rin's eyes widened. "Why would she-"

"Listen now brother. It's about Haruka-san, his accident took a great toll on both of us. But I know that Haruka-san will get well soon, yet mother worries a lot... I mean she knew him since he was a little kid as the both of y-"

Gou stopped midsentence and Rin watched her, searching some answers as to why she would stop speaking. Then the last part of her speech stuck in his mind _as the both of y?_ she wanted to say you he knew. _The both of you_ was she referring to him and Haruka? But why would she? Then he remembered the talk with his mother before leaving for hospital last night. She had called Haruka his friend. Was it this? Was it what Gou wanted to say just now? His eyes widened, he tried to find answers in her eyes but she was looking down on her lap.

"Tell me Gou... Did you want to say Friend just now? That Haruka was my friend since we were little?" He studied her as she looked up, a troubled look in her face, she nodded as she bit her lower lip, gnawing at it in worry.

He stood up from Gou's bed and ruffled through his wet hair. This couldn't be. He would remember a boy like that. He wouldn't ever forget a friend. He just wouldn't.

"Are you telling the truth?" It was so harsh of him to question her reliability but he couldn't believe, he just couldn't believe that he would be able to forget such an interesting person, friend whatever Haruka was to him.

"Yes I am... Why should I lie?" Gou said with a pained voice, in her eyes brimming tears. "That would be a cruel thing to do..." Then she looked to the ground her shoulders shaking, but she wasn't crying.

Rin was standing in the middle of the room. "B-But how?" He then said and felt a tightness in his throat. "How could I...?" He wiped over his face and looked down to Gou. "How important was this Haruka to me?" He then asked his voice weakening towards the end. His thoughts were racing, how could that be... How?

"Very." Gou whispered and looked up.

Rin's eyes widened. Haruka was important to him... How had a forgotten such a person? How was able to do so? He clenched his teeth, anger building up inside of him. An Anger directed to himself, his own stupidity, his own cruel mind.

"Rin... The doctors told it might be a response to your traumatic experience-"

"What traumatic experience?!" He interrupted Gou, noticing right after that he had risen his voice against her. His eyes were burning and his mind was muddy, everything felt so wrong and out of place all of a sudden. But he knew that he had to calm down. "What traumatic experience?" He asked again this time his voice tight but not harsh. "Please tell me Gou..." He then said sitting down next to her, meeting her eyes.

"It was..." She swallowed before speaking on. "It was on a day before you would leave for Australia..." She paused and blinked some tears away, exhaled shakily. "You wanted to meet and-" A cough caught in her throat, but Rin just watched, not able to do anything, worry, sadness, confusion were clouding his senses, muddying his thoughts and emotions. "You saw the accident, you called the ambulance, you went with him to hospital, you were the one to rescue him..." Gou said meeting Rin's eyes. "But then..." She added weakly "You... The doctors told you collapsed and after waking up you left as if nothing ever happened..."

Rin was feeling numb after hearing this, everything. They wanted to meet? Haruka and he? He had brought him to hospital? Was there until collapsing and leaving? It all sounded like some kind of tale, a tale with no happy endings. The ones which tore at your heart and left behind a hole too big to fill with anything. Yet again it explained why he would cancel his flight. It explained everything. Rin swallowed and coughed right after. Gou wouldn't lie to him. As he refocused on her, he saw that she was shaking, silent sobs erupting in her throat, but never leaving her mouth. She was so strong, so much stronger than him. Could tell all this while sitting next to him. Could speak about the accident that changed everything in one moment. But he, he had just forgotten, had forgotten everything about his friend... His friend he deemed important enough to meet alone before leaving for Australia. He averted his eyes in shame and hurt.

"I'm sorry..." He said weakly.

* * *

 **What did you like about this story the most up until now?  
** **Anything you disliked?  
** **And also how do you think will this story continue?**


	5. A Shattered Friendship

**Chapter Summary:**

Not everything that breaks can be repaired  
But sometimes, there is more than just a little bit of hope.

 **Author's Notes:**

Hey guy!  
Here is another chapter of "A Future Together"  
I hope you'll like it~

* * *

His head was resting on his pillow, his eyes staring up to the ceiling but seeing nothing at all. Everything was a blur while he thought and thought. Rin's mind was spinning, the new information that was so readily given to him wouldn't let go of his thoughts. He exhaled long through his nose still staring at the ceiling like he demanded answers from a non-existent force. Shortly his teeth clenched and he closed his eyes. They had begun to burn just like his chest.

It felt tight and uncomfortable to lie there and think and think and think. Nothing else was in his own might than doing this. He had left Gou's room that day. An apology and then he had left, hadn't looked in her eyes again, he just couldn't. Once more he had left someone dear to him -just as he had left behind Haruka. Again he clenched his teeth. He had run away. Needed time to think and sort everything out. He could either ignore all this or really try to speak to Haruka, try to find out what had mesmerized him about the teen other than his eyes and the mysterious silence that surrounded him.

Rin opened his eyes, the world around him wasn't blurring anymore, it was sharp and more than just real. Slowly he straightened up from his lying position, looked to his clock just to notice that he probably wouldn't find any sleep that night -at least not anymore. With a sigh he stood up from his bed, walked over to his window, opened it, and took a deep breath. The mild night air was caressing his face with cold fingers. Tussling his hair carefully, lovingly.

Rin closed his eyes and just tried to feel, tried to forget and feel. But the tightness in his chest wouldn't let go, his thoughts about Gou's confession wouldn't leave. He heaved a breath and opened his eyes again. His gaze slowly skimming over the rooftops of some houses further down the little hill his house lay on. Though, there wasn't much to see, just here and there was a home which had its light lit, otherwise it was dark and silent. A silence he wished for his own mind, but he had to figure out what to do next after this new knowledge he gained.

He leaned against the windowsill and let his head lull back until he saw the sky, asking himself how long these nice nights would hold, with glistening stars and a hope filled shine in them. As Rin watched those stars he couldn't stop his mind from forming question over question.

Was Haruka able to sleep? Or was he thinking about Rin and their shattered friendship? Was he hurt that Rin had left his side?

Rin let his head hang forward, his hair tickling his nose as he inhaled, closing his eyes he tried to force himself to remember more of the teen than just his eyes and that one night at the hospital. But there was nothing. Nothing at all. After a while he felt ill of himself. An angered, desperate growl left his mouth as he pushed himself away from the window and walked towards the door of his room.

He needed somewhere to think, some place to calm his pulsing mind, just so that he could find a way to fix all this. And his feet lead him towards his homes exit. He laid his hand on the knob but then he shortly stopped. Maybe he should leave a note? If his mother woke up before he returned she might worry again-not just might, she would. There was no need in making her worry without any reason. Shortly he vanished into the kitchen to write a little note and then proceeded to exit. He put on his shoes and left his home.

The cold of the night was biting his arms. He should have taken a jacket. Yet he just closed the door behind himself and began to walk. His steps leading him to nowhere in particular, just through the streets. He was rubbing over his arms once twice until he gave up. It was no use, the force the wind used while licking against his skin wasn't decreasing. Like this he walked in his t-shirt and trousers through another dark and then a lit street. At some point he just followed one street up a hill it was a long path, some steps were on the path so he climbed them up, deep in thoughts...

Was Haruka ok? How could Rin dare to look into the other teen's eyes after what he got to know? He gulped and walked on. Did Haruka even want to see him again? It had to be painful... This everything...  
Rin tried to picture himself in that position, in a position where Sousuke might have forgotten about him. Would look at him in a way a stranger would. Once again introducing himself and then walking away as if there had never been any kind of friendship between them. Living a life as if they had never met.

A shiver went down Rin's back when the cold blew against his face, forced him to stop and wonder where he was. His eyes wandered from one house to the other, the place looked somehow familiar. His eyes travelled to one particular house. He slowly stepped towards it and just stopped when he was right in front of the door, he was stretching his hand out for the knob when a sigh left his mouth. With a short grumble at his own stupidity he turned around and walked away. He after all needed a way to get out of this mess and not to disturb people in their homes this late in the night. Just then did he feel that he was freezing, he should get home if he didn't want to catch a cold.

 **~xoxoxoxooxoxoxox~**

Haruka woke up early in the morning, the pain in his arm was the unwanted reason. He clenched his teeth and straightened up from his lying position to do something, anything what seemed to help to decrease the pain. It happened from time to time, normally the pain was just a silent pulsing which accompanied him throughout the day, those he could ignore, dive into thoughts. But occasionally there were piercing pains, those shot through his system thus punched merciless him back to reality.

With a last shuddering breath Haruka let himself fall onto the bed, these pains were always gone as suddenly as they came. They brought him back to reality when he seemed to dive into the oblivion of his mind, when he finally seemed to block everything that was not okay. It was like it wanted Haruka to suffer. Another shuddering breath escaped his mouth as he closed his eyes.

When could he leave the hospital? How long had it been since everything? A week? Two weeks? And ever since that first night Rin had visited, he never came again, he lived his life. Gou had also looked sad. He noticed it behind the laughs she had, behind the strong façade she wore. So he didn't say a word if she didn't want it noticed, wouldn't ask unwanted questions. Thus he also didn't ever ask about Rin. Tried to overplay the tightness that was in his chest every time all the others appeared but Rin wasn't anywhere to be seen, tried to look normal and hide the disappointment in his heart.

It wasn't easy, it really wasn't. It was like waiting for Rin's letters again, waiting for a message which would never come. It was like Rin had left for Australia again, leaving behind Haruka with an uncertainty which couldn't be washed away. Leaving him behind without looking him in the eyes as a friend.

Haruka gulped. It hurt, it hurt so much. This, everything. Why was it that Rin could flee his grasp? Disappear without a warning? Why was it that he was like a bird flying and flying, never trying to land but always looking forward to the future? Why was it that Haruka never could reach him, couldn't clasp that hand and be lead to more and more new sights he had never seen? Why was it that Rin left Haruka behind...

 **~xoxoxoxooxoxoxox~**

Rin was shifting from one foot to the other as he looked at the hospital. It had taken him days to figure out what he would do from now on, to finally decipher what his heart tried to tell him, to find a way to speak to this Haruka without hurting him. He had made Gou promise, to not tell Haruka that she told Rin about them being friends. She had promised when he explained her that he would visit Haruka as soon as he found the time and courage to do so. She had nodded in understanding, she had always understood.

Rin released his breath and walked towards the hospital. The doors slid open and a sterile air washed over his senses. He took a breath and proceeded to the reception, asked if Nanase's visiting hours were over and then he made his way through the white corridor which lead to Haruka's room. His gaze was fixated to his front, each step taken with an uncertainty that tainted his mind.

How would he greet the other? What would await him? He was standing in front of Haruka's room. A shuddering breath was released and then he was holding his breath as he opened the door. Slowly, carefully as if to not wake a sleeping monster. And when the door was open, greeting him was a brilliant blue, a brilliant glistening blue.

 **~xoxoxoxooxoxoxox~**

The atmosphere in the room had changed. Haruka's eyes widened as he looked into those wine-red eyes. He didn't know how to react so he didn't react at all. The only thing he did was watch the other, stare at him, taking in every new information about him. Because Rin was different from the first time he had appeared here, there was an air of indecisiveness, something that held him back from stepping inside.

Had Rin finally remembered? Was he here to apologize? Was he alone? Would he call him Haru again? Haruka didn't dare to blink, fear that Rin might disappear again was holding him back. His eyes were tearing and burning as he watched the other, but he didn't want to close them. His mind was spinning and the world seemed to disappear just Rin was in his focus as said teen stepped from one foot to his other, licked his lips and just shortly broke their gaze, before looking up again.

His eyes shimmering with uncertain hurt, a questioning force was being covered by the hurt and confusion he emitted. Haruka gulped before his lips parted themselves, he would speak, he wouldn't allow Rin to disappear again. He didn't want him to go away at all.

"Rin." He said, no breathed out. He also was feeling uncertain, hurt.

"Hello." Was Rin's first word, his voice broke and then he stepped inside, finally into the room and closed the door behind himself.

And Haruka was watching, waiting for the other to near him, to speak to him, to hug him, to lay his arm on Haruka's shoulder, be his overly touchy self. But Rin just took the nearest chair and pulled it towards Haruka's bed, positioning it near the headboard, though there was still a gap which informed of his unfamiliar feelings towards Haruka.

Haruka gulped the hurt throbbing in his throat down, just looked at Rin, waited for the other to speak, to say something -anything- which showed Haruka that he might remember. Rin sat down, clasping his hands together as he leaned forward to support himself on his knees. Like this he sat there, first watching Haruka, his eyes obviously searching for something but then he let his head hang. His shoulder slumped in defeat.

"I'm sorry." Rin said his gaze was directed to the ground, he was kneading his hands, didn't look up for a while. But then after releasing a breath his eyes once again returned to Haruka, then his lips parted -and there was hope in Haruka's heart.

"I'm sorry... I tried... I really did... B-But I..." Rin's eyes were pained as his brows knitted while he looked Haruka in the eyes -and Haruka's world shattered, the hope shining bright in his chest was shattered.

Would Rin leave now? Haruka broke their gaze, couldn't take it any longer to see the pain in those otherwise happy eyes. He broke their gaze and looked out of the window, just to have time to rid the hurt visible in his face, just then did he looked back to Rin. Red eyes were watching him, studying him, didn't seem to intend to disappear.

"It's okay." Haruka said, though deep down he knew it was not, these were not the feelings he had in his chest. He wanted Rin to try harder, to shine brightly and show Haruka new sights, he wanted Rin to stay his friend.

"No, it's not." Rin said surprisingly and looked up his hurt eyes were a brilliant red as he locked his gaze with Haruka's.  
"I just can't accept it." His brows knitted as he lowered his gaze. "I... You see... I tried to think about being in your position, and it was just so fucked up... I just..." Then he looked up again.  
"And I needed time to decide what to do, that's why it took me some time to visit again..." He straightened his posture, didn't look anywhere in particular when he began to speak again. "I decided... I decided that I won't rest until I remember everything again!"  
There was a sweet blush in his face as he lowered his gaze. "Sorry, I got carried away." He coughed once before he spoke on. "Gou told me that we were... are childhood friends." Rin paused shortly and looked then up again. "I'm sorry if I hurt you with my presence but could you bare with me and tell me how we've met?"

Haruka had been silent while Rin spoke, had watched the teen, had been scared that his final words would carry the meaning that he would leave Haruka. But the last sentence...  
Haruka's eyes widened, Rin wouldn't leave? He was relieved, happy, delighted though non of it showed in his face, he just smiled faintly and he felt his chest tighten as he nodded, agreed to tell Rin how they met...

* * *

 **I'm not someone to beg for reviews**  
 **but it somehow hurts that all of you leave a favourite or follow but nearly non take some time to leave me a review.**  
 **Srsly, I slowly begin to ask myself where is a point in writing on, if no one will appreciate my hours long of work?**  
 **and believe me I do sit more than just one or two hours at one chapter**  
 **containing: writing, first edit, second edit, proofreading often more than 3 times just to find as much mistakes as possible**  
 **and then at the end I post this chapter for you guys to read...**

 **So. Please. Leave. Me. A. Review.**  
 **(at least if you respect my hard work.)**


	6. A Few Words

**Author's Notes:**  
Hey guys!  
First of all thanks for all the reviews you left for me  
I had a goofy smile on my face whilst reading them!  
Thanks for making my day  
(I read them over to motivate myself btw hehe)

Also sorry for taking long to update (real life and stuff...)

 **fairymangafan** I wanted to answer or rather comment your review!  
I am so glad you like my story and I oh so hope that I won't disappoint you in the later chapters!  
(btw reading your long review was a delight to me I really was smiling and squealing and tbh I nearly cried,  
that happens a lot to me when I read reviews to my stories they make me so so happy you have no idea how much happiness I feel!)  
the thing about them being too fixated to each other, (Rin and Haru) I didn't really notice as I tried to tell _their_ story,  
like the way they see each other after everything but you got a point and I will try to focus on it further (believe me I am trying to keep it in mind)  
also I hope the little introduction of Makoto made sense to you, I hadn't writtne anything about him  
as I thought that it was clear he was all the time at Haru's side trying to help him back into life etc.  
(also did you notice that I tried to voice your concern through Makoto a little bit I hope you liked it as I really got your point and it made sense  
so yeah I had to bring it into attention in this story thank you so much for helping me!)  
OMG PLEASE share it with me when you figure out what exactly is wrong with my depiction of Rin,  
it is so so important to me to get the characters right, I mean otherwise I shouldn't write a fanfiction but rather a story of my own or not? haha  
omg I'm babbling so much I wished you were signed in we could've exchanged massages or something similar to it!  
Once more thank you so much pointing out so much to me things like that are a great help to develop my writing and understanding of my readers you know  
(btw you English was awesome! I myself am not a native English speaking person tbh it's my third language haha so yeah no worries there,  
we are in the same boat about feeling self-conscious about the English we use)

All of you have fun while reading!

* * *

With a last deep breath he reached out for the door knob to Haruka's room, there were important matters he had to talk about with Haruka. He put on his smile and was about to open the door when he heard voices from inside the room. Confused Makoto looked at the door at first, asking himself how that could possibly be, the other's had other errands to run. It was just him, who came here around this time. Spent some time alone with Haruka until either the other's joined them or he had to go.

His eyes were glued to the front as he pushed the door knob down and opened the door. Haruka was indeed talking but beside him sitting wasn't -just as he predicted- Rei, Nagisa or Gou... no, it was Rin. Both of them turned towards him when he stepped inside and closed the door carefully behind himself. It was silent in the room for some time and Makoto put on his smile before he turned his head back to them.

"Hey, Haru, Rin" Makoto smiled.

"Jo, Makoto." Rin said standing up. "Long time no see." He smiled back.

What was the meaning of this? Did Rin finally remember? Though as Makoto looked him over, he noticed, that it couldn't be the case. The way he stood in the room, whilst looking at Makoto just told a whole different story. He looked out of place, the chair beside Haruka's bed was way too far away, the bright smile that was directed to Makoto looked so similar to the one he normally just shared with Haruka. Makoto gulped and stepped closer to them.

"How are you?" He said into the room and came to a halt in front of them, just a few feet away, still somehow observing the situation.

"Fine." Was Haruka's short answer as a sad smile played on his lips.

This was what hurt Makoto the most in that moment. The greatest clue that Rin indeed wasn't remembering. Haruka's smile sure was genuine but it was by far not what it normally was, it was sad, pained.

"That's good." Makoto said smiling back. "And you Rin?"

At first Rin looked at him, then shortly to Haruka, before his gaze returned to Makoto once again. He stepped from one foot to the other.

"Fine, I guess." Was his answer before he scratched his nape, "and you?"

Makoto was sure that it was not just him who felt the awkward atmosphere they shared. "I'm good." He then answered, smiling shortly.

After that short exchange of words Makoto took the other chair in the room and placed it on the other side of Haruka's bed, between window and bed. Then His eyes glued on Haruka. "What have you been doing, Haru?"

As usual there was just a short glimpse towards Makoto to tell him great stories about what was going on, mostly though that he had to be stupid to ask such a question, as he knew that Haruka wasn't allowed to stand up, not yet at least. He was about to speak again when Rin spoke up before him.

"I- uh I'm going to get something to drink, does any of you want anything?" He was standing awkwardly in the middle of the room. Most likely he hadn't even sat down when Makoto had done so. From the corner of his eyes Makoto saw Haruka shaking his head, so Makoto did just the same. "Oh... Okay then. I'll be back in a minute." Rin smiled before stepping out of the room.

Makoto looked after him for a while and shortly his smile vanished, overtaken by a thoughtful face before he looked back to Haruka. The other teen's eyes were still glued to the door of the room. Makoto's gaze turned to his lap. It was just sad to watch this, everything. Haruka trying to hide his hurt, Rin walking around like some other person but not really himself after Haruka disappeared from his mind. Makoto kneaded his hands.

The worst part was that Haruka was too fixated on Rin. It was like he forgot everything about his own problems, the amputation of his arm, the future he wanted to work towards being destroyed. Even though Makoto could understand that it was a shock for him that Rin forgot about him, after all it just could be painful, yet that fixation of Haruka was neither healthy nor helpful for him. Makoto clenched his teeth. It were moments like these where Makoto wished the most that Rin would turn to his old self.

Some days -more than a week though- had passed since the accident, and recently Makoto was thinking more often about Tokyo and how this accident had effected Haruka's future. Haruka couldn't possibly return to Tokyo anytime soon, and it wasn't even granted that he could find a coach, who was willing to take him as an athlete for the Paralympics. It wouldn't leave Makoto's mind that in Tokyo they could've stayed side by side, even if not in the same apartment, they could have met often. Makoto looked up from his lap towards Haruka, just then did he notice that Haruka was observing him. Makoto coughed shortly.

"I- uh... I'-"

"It's fine."

"W-what?"

"It's fine..."

"But I didn't sa-"

"You don't have to..."

Makoto's eyes were wide before they softened again. Of course Haruka had understood. Just as ever. He looked down on his lap, playing with his own fingers, pinching his flesh here and there. It was so hard to think about all this. Haruka was hurting, yet he wasn't showing it on his face, was putting up a tough, indifferent front. Haruka had known what Makoto wanted to say. Tears pooled up in Makoto's eyes but he fought against them. Why wasn't he as confident as he had been that night, when he had told his intentions to Haruka for the first time?

 **~xoxoxoxoxooxoxoxox~**

Rin sighed as he stepped out of the room. Those two had obviously needed time for themselves. He sure had wanted Haruka to start telling this day, but somehow the world seemed to be against it. First the nurses had interrupted and then Makoto had appeared. Rin smiled to himself. Makoto was a great friend, being there for Haruka even though he himself had much to worry about in his future.

Rin's steps took him to the cafeteria of the hospital. He asked for a coffee and sat down at one of the tables. There was enough time to spare so he could wait, let them some time to speak with each other. With a huff he laid his hands on the table and entwined them. He cleaned his throat and then looked down to his hands, stroking over the back of his right hand, soothing the tenseness in his body and mind.

For now he wasn't sure what to do next. Haruka would tell him about their meeting but what then? Would Rin remember? What if he didn't remember? What would he do then? Rin swallowed shortly before he noticed the waitress nearing his table with a steaming coffee mug. With a smile he took the mug, laid it on the table and after a thanks he placed his hands around the hot mug. The black coffee was a great contrast to the white of the cup.

He sighed and blew over the rim of the mug. Just then did he take his first gulp. The warm and bitter liquid was running down his throat. It was warming his inside. A small smile played on his lips as he lay the mug back on the table and cupped it between his palms. There was a little corner in his mind that told him to think about going back to Australia. He couldn't stay here forever, he had a training to attend and becoming an Olympic-Swimmer wouldn't be easy.

His grip around the mug tightened shortly. To what date would he book his flight? His coach had already sent him a mail asking what had happened. He had to answer that as well. Though somehow it seemed right to ask his coach for a longer break, a week at most, yet it might be enough time to fix everything that was broken.

He took another sip of his hot coffee and looked out of the window. How long had it been since he left those two? Maybe he should think about returning soon?

As Rin sat there, he couldn't much less but wonder what Makoto and Haruka might be speaking about. After taking another long swig from his coffee he looked inside his mug. The black liquid was just pooling at the bottom of the mug, the white was domineering over the black coffee. A small battle between black and white, good and evil, hope and doubt. Rin squeezed his eyes shut, what an unnervingly poetic way of thinking about coffee and mugs.

Though, soon his thoughts went back to Haruka's room. Makoto had looked troubled when entering the room, but it could have just been the awkward atmosphere that had caused it. Rin sighed and took a sip. What would he say when returning? Would Makoto still be there? He took his last gulp and stood up. He went to the front desk and placed his mug on the counter -helping out where ever he could as to not give anyone more trouble than they needed to have. He once again smiled as he payed for the coffee.

"Thank you, it was delicious." He said before starting to walk away "have a nice day!" He opened the door and just faintly heard the goodbye of the nice waitress.

The cafeteria wasn't that far away from Haruka's room, but he was walking slowly towards his destination, maybe they needed some more time to speak. After what felt like an eternity, he stood in front of the door and placed his hand on the knob, he heard a faint laugh behind it. A smile hushed over Rin's lips, this had to be Makoto, Haruka wasn't the type to laugh loudly. He pushed the door open and looked at the two sitting figures. Both of them were turned towards Rin.

"Hey." Rin said and stepped inside the room, after two long strides he sat down on his chair. "The coffee here is delicious." He said and smiled shortly.

"Ah, good to know." Makoto answered smiling.

He was looking less troubled than before, the conversation Makoto and Haruka had, obviously had helped Makoto to gain back some of his composure, at least enough to keep a somehow less tense atmosphere.

"I should be going." Rin arched an eyebrow. Why was Makoto leaving so soon? Wasn't he normally determined to stay longer at Haruka's side? Rin's eyes widened.

"I- Rin? Aren't you feeling well?"

Rin swallowed hardly, his mind was feeling like thousand of needles penetrated it. He squeezed his eyes shut and clenched his teeth. It was an unbearable pain. With a forced breath he took his head between his palms. What was happening?  
"Gh-" he moaned in pain.  
An agonizing beeping sound was what followed the pain of his head, but Rin could tell that the piercing shrill sound was just in his own mind. If anyone was talking to him, he couldn't hear them, and the pain in his head was forceful enough to block out any other of his senses. He opened his eyes, though as soon as he opened them everything blackened around him.

"Rin!" Was what he heard last.

 **~xoxoxoxooxoxoxox~**

"Rin!" Makoto was standing over the teen, his hand placed on his shoulder. "Rin, can you hear me?"

Haruka's mind was spinning as he watched the other two. What was happening to Rin?

"Ha-Haru?" Makoto looked helplessly to him. "C-Call a nurse." Was the next thing he said before his attention returned to Rin.

Haruka nodded wide eyed as he groped for the little remote beside his bed that was for calling a nurse whenever he needed one. He pressed the button, once twice more often than that. Rin was still not reacting to Makoto calling out to him. The only thing he did was holding his head between his palms.

Haruka watched him terrified, then he saw a little shift in Rin's body as the teen looked slightly up and opened his eyes. There was pain in those red eyes yet he wasn't looking in any particular direction, it was a glassy and unfocused stare that held for seconds until his eyes rolled to the back of his head and he toppled over.

"Rin!" Haruka shouted and moved forward as to catch Rin, but he himself felt an agonizing tug in his rips, arms and legs. Why was he so useless? Though luckily Makoto had caught Rin mid-air.

"Rin?" Makoto whispered. "He- uh he is unconscious." Makoto then explained more to himself than Haruka.

Haruka swallowed down the angry lump in his throat and nodded in response. After that everything went fast. Nurses came inside first running to Haruka's side but he shook his head. No they should control Rin. Haruka stared at that lilac hair as Rin was carried to the other bed and looked over, his pulse was checked and everything else that belonged to that routine.

Rin's eyes had looked so agonized. Haruka panted, placed his hand over his face, the room seemed to shrink again. He whimpered as he looked around. So much people, there were just too much people. His breath quickened and he clawed at his hair. Breathing was hard and his heartbeat felt like punches against his ribs. He fell back on his bed looked at the ceiling, frantically breathing, hearing how his heart beat faltered in his chest too. Lastly he heard the nurses call out for him, but his grasp to reality slipped away.

* * *

 **A/N:** Thanks for reading!  
I am thrilled for more reviews from you!  
Love you guys!


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